Abrasion – To wear down the skin by using friction. Materials and toys such as sandpaper, steel wool, rough cloth, and bottlebrushes are often used. This increases sensitivity while giving both pleasure and pain.
Acomoclitic – Preference for hairless genitals
Acucullophilia – Sexual attraction to men who are circumcised.
Adult Babies – Age play wherein the submissive is the baby. This may include diapering, powdering, wearing a pacifier, sleeping in a crib, etc. Rarely taken to a 24/7 extreme.
Adult Toy Chest – A place where one keeps their sex toys. A sex toy box.
Age Play – play that involves assuming the role of someone of a different age. Most commonly, one of the adults takes on the younger role, usually in the submissive capacity.
Algophilia – Sexual arousal from experiencing pain
Allopellia – Reaching orgasm from watching other people in sexual activities.
Alligator Clamp – A type of nipple clamp with tips that have teeth resembling an alligators mouth. Most clamps of this style come with removable rubber tips and have adjustment screws to limit how far they can close.
Altocalciphilia – High heel fetish
Anal Dildo – A dildo that is intended to be used with the anus as the receptor.
Anal Intercourse – Sex using the anus as the receptor.
Androminetophilia – Sexual arousal from female cross dressers
Ankle Cuffs – Attachable cuffs, generally made of leather, that enable a Dom to immobilize his submissive’s legs
Ankle Restraint – Any device including ankle cuffs that immobilize a submissiveness legs.
Animal Training – Training where the Dominant has his submissive play the part of an animal, such as horses and dogs. The most common is “puppy play”.
Asphyxiaphilia – see breath control
Autoclave – Professional sterilization device for piercing equipment.
Auto-erotic Asphyxiation – see breath control
Autogynephilia – Sexual arousal from cross-dressing
B&D, B/D, B/d – Bondage and Discipline. Although they go together in this phrase, they are not inextricably linked. Bondage means restraining someone in a helpless position (Such as being tied up.) Discipline is training a person to behave in a certain way. They tend to go together because Dominants tend to do both to their submissive.
BDSM – A popular acronym for activities inclusive of (but not limited to) Bondage, Domination/Discipline Submission/Sadism & Masochism. Also called WIITWD, an acronym for “What It Is That We Do.” Both mean this type of alternative lifestyle. Sometimes the word “Bondage” has the same broad range meaning when used in a descriptive context.
BDSM Toy Box – A place where one keeps their BDSM gear or play equipment.
BJ – expression for blowjob (fellatio); ditto in the BDSM lifestyle
Ball Gag – A device with a rubber ball and straps, which secures the ball in the bottom’s mouth to stifle screams.
Ball Stretching – The practice of stretching the scrotal sack so that it hangs lower using weights or other devices to pull on it above the testicles. As the sack is pulled, the testicles are squeezed leading to discomfort and sometime pain.
Ball Torture – Causing pain to the male testicles, also included in CBT or cock and ball torture.
Ball Toys – Toys used for playing with the scrotum – such as weights, straps, etc.
Ball Weights – Weights used to stretch the scrotum. See Ball Stretching
BalletBoots – Extremely high heeled boots that require you to stand on the ends of your toes rather than the sole of your foot. Usually they have heels that are 8-9 inches and require considerable training and ability to walk in without assistance. Sometime also referred to as bondage boots.
Barbell – A straight piece of metal used in piercing, as opposed to a ring.
Basoexia – Sexual arousal from kissing
Bastinado – Foot torture involving the soles of the feet.
Beating – General term for such BDSM activities such as flogging caning, spanking, strapping, etc.
Belonephilia – Sexual arousal from use of needles
Belt – A leather strap used for striking the buttocks.
Blend Modality – Depilation (hair removal) using both electrolysis and thermolysis.
Blindfold – By blocking out sight – a common technique in SM scene – the bottom feels more vulnerable and increases the release of endorphins, thus contributing to the excitement in the scene.
Blood sports – A group of techniques in which the submissive’s skin is broken and blood is allowed to escape. Such as cutting, using needles, etc. See also “Edgeplay.”
Blowjob – Fellatio, head, sucking cock.
Body Art – Artful body modification including: piercing, tattoos and brandings.
Body Modification – Making alterations to the appearance of the body. Includes, but is not limited to, tattoos, piercings, brandings, scarification.
Body Shaving – Removal of hair with a razor. Female and male submissives commonly shave their pubic hair clean.
Bondage – Making a submissive physically helpless and to a great extent immobilized. Techniques include rope ties, handcuffs, leather cuffs, stocks and mummification.
Bootlicking – Licking and cleaning of a Dominant’s boots by a submissive is a common show of submission. Can also be a fetish.
Bottom – A submissive.
Boy – Term for male submissive (also spelled “boi”)
Boy Toy – A male who is submissive to a dominant. Dominant can be either male or female.
Branding – Making a permanent or semi-permanent scar on the skin by burning it with a heated metal object. Usually used by a Master to “mark” his slave as his property.
Brat – Term for a sub who tries to get the attention of a Dom/me by “acting up.”
Breast Bondage – Tying up the female breasts with rope.
Breast Press – A device that squeezes the breasts.
Breath Control – another type of “edgeplay” whereby the submissive’s breath is stopped for a short period of time to increase pleasurable sensations. Also called asphyxiaphilia, autoerotic asphyxiation, breath games, breathplay and hypoxyphilia. Very Dangerous.
Bukake – Sexual scene where many men masturbate on and give a “semen bath” to a willing submissive
Bullwhip – A long, heavy leather whip usually longer than 4 feet.
Butterfly Board – A wood board where a male’s scrotum can be nailed or pinned onto.
Buttplug – a “sextoy” shaped to fit into and stay inside the rectum.
Buttplug Harness – Usually a leather harness that prevents a buttplug from being removed either intentional or accidentally from the rectum.
Cage – A bondage practice, wherein the submissive is kept inside a cage. They can be so small as to restrict motion or large enough for two or more people.
Candle – A source of hot wax, which is dripped onto the bottom’s body in BDSM play.
Caning – Using a rattan cane (although they are made of many other substances) on a Submissive. Usually more severe than a flogging.
Cat – An old school expression for an old school BDSM tool of discipline – the “cat o nine tails”.
Cat O Nine Tails – a whip that has exactly 9 strands. Some have a knot at the end for increased sensation or sting.
Catheter – Flexible tube used in medicine; in BDSM catheters designed for the bladder, often utilized in ‘control’ scenes.
Cathterophilia – Sexual arousal from inserting a catheters
CBT – Cock and Ball Torture – Causing pain to the male genital area; usually in controlled, consensual BDSM scenes.
Chastity Belt – A device used to keep the submissive chaste when the Dominant is away. Comes in both male and female models.
Chains – Multi-use metal links; used to restrain, restrict movement and/or tie up a submissive.
Chezolagnia – masturbating while defecating
Circumcision – The cutting away of some or the entire foreskin, in males. In the female, circumcision usually refers to the removal of the clitoral hood.
Clamp – Generic term for any BDSM toy (even if garnered at a hardware store) that can clamp some body part of a submissive.
Clingfilm – Generic term for plastic wrap which is used in mummification scenes.
Clip – Generic term for any BDSM toy (even if garnered at a hardware store) that can clip some body part of a submissive.
Clitoridectomy – Surgical removal of the clitoris.
Clitorilingus – Tonguing the clitoris. Also called “eating” which is easier to pronounce.
Clothespins – wooden or plastic clothespins, typically used to produce pain sensation on the skin. Usually on nipples and genital areas.
Clover Nipple Clamps – Type of adjustable nipple clamps that tightens as it is pulled. Also known as Japanese Clover Nipple Clamps.
Coca-Cola Submissive – A submissive who only obeys the easy stuff or only when he/she feels like it.
Cock Cage – a CBT device that encase a penis shaft inside it. Can be either a solid or web design.
Cock Cuff – a chastity device that consists of a tube welded to a handcuff, usually both made of stainless stelel. The penis is slide into the tube and the handcuff closes behind the ball sack making removal all but impossible without unlocking the handcuff. A very effective chastity device.
Cock Ring – Rubber or metal ring that slips round base of cock and balls; supposed to increase duration of erection but also has D/s aspects to it.
Cock Strap – Leather or neoprene strap that wraps around the base of cock and balls to help improve erection.
Cock Sucking – see “fellatio” if you don’t already know.
Cock Torture – Cock and ball torture without the ball torture. Giving pain only to the penis shaft.
Color Codes – such as the hanky code of sexual preference.
Collar and Leash – Worn by the bottom during this type of BDSM play. The Dominant holds the leash and the bottom must follow and obey. Collars are also worn by the submissive as symbols of commitment and ownership.
Condom – Latex “rubber” that goes over the penis to prevent semen from entering a vagina. Also known as “rain coat” and “gym cap.”
Consent – To give approval. The BDSM code of “safe, sane and consensual” or “SSC” is the cornerstone of BDSM play. With consent being the most important.
Contract – A written agreement between D/s partners outlining the extent of their relationship. These contracts cannot be legally enforced, but they are often used to define the relationship. See also Slave Contracts.
Control – The Dominant should have control in one form or another over his submissive in any D/s relationship.
Coprolagnia – Sexual excitement derived from eating feces
Coprolalia – Sexual excitement from dirty words
Coprophilia – Gaining sexual pleasure from scat play.
Corporal Punishment – Retributive punishment using repetitive spankings and question and reply to change a bottom’s behavior.
Corset – Very popular clothing item that cinches and narrows the waist and gives the female an “hourglass” figure.
Crop – A type of whip used in horseback riding, quite popular in BDSM scenes. It stings and can mark a butt severely, but is easy to master and quite reasonable in price.
Cross – see St. Andrew’s Cross.
Cross Dressing – Dressing in clothing worn by the opposite sex. Does not indicate sexually preference in any way.
Crucifixion – BDSM play wherein a submissive is tied to a cross.
Cuff – A metal or leather bondage device that locks round a limb and can be used to immobilize the sub’s limbs.
Cunnilingus – Licking and sucking the cunt.
Cunt Torture – Stimulation or pain inflicted on the female genitals.
Cupping – The placing of suction devices on the skin to increase blood flow. Typically these are used on the nipples and the genitalia. Increasing the blood flow increase sensation as well.
Cutting – Cutting the submissive’s skin with a sterile knife. These can be either temporary or permanent. Made permanent by putting a sterile foreign substances into them before they heal. NOT for beginners.